that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
