You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You brought string cheese to the strip club
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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