if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
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