Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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