Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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