she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
