how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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