No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I wish there were birth control emojis
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Randomize
