worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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