I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
