Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
