I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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