I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
