they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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