When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Randomize
