it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
