i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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