pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.