Texts From Last Night

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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.

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  (251): Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester. http://tfl.nu/tcd3
  Replies (14) Good night (3549) Bad night (567)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You can't motorboat a personality

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  (602): You can't motorboat a personality http://tfl.nu/gveo
  Replies (18) Good night (1329) Bad night (2214)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM

  (416): View more from Toronto

  From?

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...

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  (647): It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM (416): From? (647): Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table... http://tfl.nu/hv77
  Replies (16) Good night (2382) Bad night (5390)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?

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  (813): I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this? http://tfl.nu/o9lt
  Replies (37) Good night (13413) Bad night (1011)
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  (936): View more from Texas

  He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know

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  (936): He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know http://tfl.nu/tf12
  Replies (15) Good night (7175) Bad night (1160)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game

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  (401): You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game http://tfl.nu/zcqx
  Replies (3) Good night (2606) Bad night (791)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.

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  (860): It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it. http://tfl.nu/6u0x
  Replies (2) Good night (2550) Bad night (816)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.

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  (651): Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man. http://tfl.nu/8z1d
  Replies (12) Good night (2937) Bad night (528)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.

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  (613): The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business. http://tfl.nu/gu5e
  Replies (10) Good night (677) Bad night (1200)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.

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  (314): I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move. http://tfl.nu/5xj0
  Replies (9) Good night (900) Bad night (344)
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  (716): View more from New York

  definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

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  (716): definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush. http://tfl.nu/3ehj
  Replies (6) Good night (761) Bad night (493)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.

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  (406): Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story. http://tfl.nu/fe6z
  Replies (7) Good night (1453) Bad night (274)
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  (618): View more from Illinois

  Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with

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  (618): Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with http://tfl.nu/wwss
  Replies (4) Good night (1126) Bad night (277)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.

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  (541): Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god. http://tfl.nu/ma7j
  Replies (0) Good night (145) Bad night (331)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?

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  (870): I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more? http://tfl.nu/o5o8
  Replies (3) Good night (333) Bad night (118)

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