You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize