morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank