Texts From Last Night

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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.

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  (401): Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars. http://tfl.nu/q4kd
  Replies (29) Good night (1419) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!

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  (816): YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!! http://tfl.nu/o3fb
  Replies (29) Good night (769) Bad night (4807) Order T-Shirt
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.

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  (219): Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal. http://tfl.nu/m4sr
  Replies (14) Good night (737) Bad night (5390) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.

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  (540): I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking. http://tfl.nu/rroe
  Replies (25) Good night (2348) Bad night (4558) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.

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  (817): My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday. http://tfl.nu/n9me
  Replies (20) Good night (894) Bad night (2696) Order T-Shirt
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  (631): View more from New York

  There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12

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  (631): There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12 http://tfl.nu/d4y2
  Replies (27) Good night (5056) Bad night (1417) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am

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  (973): America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am http://tfl.nu/1gc0
  Replies (8) Good night (6993) Bad night (682) Order T-Shirt
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better

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  (+64): She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better http://tfl.nu/clth
  Replies (8) Good night (3329) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..

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  (734): Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night.. http://tfl.nu/1tnp
  Replies (6) Good night (2732) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.

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  (985): Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am. http://tfl.nu/mwe3
  Replies (11) Good night (4407) Bad night (1376) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.

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  (412): dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes. http://tfl.nu/34tx
  Replies (20) Good night (752) Bad night (2266) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?

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  (248): Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain? http://tfl.nu/gohm
  Replies (10) Good night (2418) Bad night (952) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.

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  (208): Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable. http://tfl.nu/h9sq
  Replies (7) Good night (1760) Bad night (532) Order T-Shirt
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  (951): View more from California

  DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness

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  (951): DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness http://tfl.nu/qa2j
  Replies (3) Good night (703) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (917): View more from New York City

  I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food

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  (917): I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food http://tfl.nu/2i31
  Replies (4) Good night (217) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt

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