they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
