I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
