it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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