Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
