Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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