porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot