Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great