Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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