I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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