am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
