I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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