The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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