I feel like abortions should bother me more
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She even gives head with a lisp.
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I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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