are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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