Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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