ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
