i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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