just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
