I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
