i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should frame my arrest warrant.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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