Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so let's talk penis.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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