It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize