thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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