I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Having a random hookup so left but love u
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize