so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
