one two three fourrrrnication!
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
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