I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have fence marks all over my body
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
