walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize