Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
