no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
