I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize