tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
