Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
