his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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