he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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