apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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