So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize