New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
