These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
