what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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