So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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