i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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