Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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