Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care

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(914): View more from New York

I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me

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(615): View more from Tennessee

is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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(315): View more from New York

That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.

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(516): View more from New York

I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions

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(210): View more from Texas

How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance

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