I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity