Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook

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  (248): i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook http://tfl.nu/fiya
  Replies (4) Good night (823) Bad night (1322)
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  (619): View more from California

  I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.

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  (619): I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there. http://tfl.nu/ar9u
  Replies (9) Good night (1035) Bad night (3006)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes

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  (360): I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes http://tfl.nu/v9u0
  Replies (13) Good night (6284) Bad night (1171)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.

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  (540): I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse. http://tfl.nu/5mjb
  Replies (8) Good night (4750) Bad night (1116)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  How sober do you have to be to donate blood?

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  (979): How sober do you have to be to donate blood? http://tfl.nu/9d8c
  Replies (9) Good night (3636) Bad night (1213)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.

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  (802): I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes. http://tfl.nu/xpl7
  Replies (7) Good night (1122) Bad night (1941)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.

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  (602): I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex. http://tfl.nu/gy7w
  Replies (13) Good night (3649) Bad night (1260)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed

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  (217): We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed http://tfl.nu/j4f4
  Replies (4) Good night (2144) Bad night (867)
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  (377): View more from

  I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"

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  (377): I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick" http://tfl.nu/h7rr
  Replies (9) Good night (2425) Bad night (925)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse

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  (602): hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse http://tfl.nu/qtc9
  Replies (7) Good night (2303) Bad night (642)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today

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  (208): Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today http://tfl.nu/l6jz
  Replies (2) Good night (1237) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.

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  (905): All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for. http://tfl.nu/6yyp
  Replies (12) Good night (818) Bad night (2303)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.

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  (717): We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes. http://tfl.nu/zq4p
  Replies (5) Good night (2081) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."

  (404): View more from Georgia

  BAT SHIT CRAZY

  (404): View more from Georgia

  It's you're fault, even though I never called

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  (404): Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it." (404): BAT SHIT CRAZY (404): It's you're fault, even though I never called http://tfl.nu/893x
  Replies (2) Good night (658) Bad night (367)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...

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  (510): I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night... http://tfl.nu/bk6r
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (348)

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