Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance