She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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