Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
