My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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