im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Watching her eat just hurts me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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