You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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