PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
