Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
